(Andy's intro)

Amy Lame: Andy's stage gear includes a sequined one piece with a tinsel crotch and a rhinestone suit with a jockstrap. During the eclipse people were advised not to look directly at his wardrobe!.

Round one: Scott's team are shown a clip of South Park. Two dogs are about to have a fight...what happens next?...

Andy: They look like they're fighting on wet tar, don't you think?..And they all get covered in wet tar...

Amy: Is this something you've experienced personally?

Andy: Yeah!

Amy: Welcome to Andy Bell's mind!

Andy:.. And pretend they're toffee apples (???)...Or Rolf Harris can come on and take them to the Pet Rescue!

(laughter)

********

A Swedish commercial is shown...what happens next?...

Andy: (says something in Swedish that I can't spell)

Jackie Clune: Yaah..

Andy: It means 'I love you' in Swedish - it's all I know

Amy: Aaaahhh...(aaahhhs from a few other people!).

(Subject gets on to whether the two people in the commercial are in drag..)

 Amy: You like dragging up too, don't you Andy?

Andy: I do, but I'm so ugly...in the drag...

(more aaaahhhs!)

Jackie Clune: Aaahh...Arabella carries it off!

Arabella: But I think you'll find I'm very pretty...

Amy: Didn't you do an Abba thing?. Were you the blonde or the brunette?

Andy: I was the brunette because Vince insisted on being the blonde! (laughter)...And he still is!. I can't get it off him, that wig!!.

Amy: Scott's team are winning 2-0!

********

Amy: ...We want Scott's team to think about the movies and your cinema going experiences. What did the pictures teach you about love?

Andy: Why can't gay actors play straight parts?

Amy: You should ask Scott because he's played quite a few gay clichés in his day...(laughter). You were in Mrs.Doubtfire weren't you?. Didn't you play a make-up artist?

Scott: Yeah, but he wasn't necessarily gay...(puts on a camp voice), he just liked women's hair, that's all!.

Amy: Let's get back to the movies. Andy, what films have you seen that have taught you lessons about love?

Andy: The Sound Of Music and those kinds of things...

Amy: What did The Sound Of Music teach you?

Andy: Well it didn't really teach me anything about love, but I didn't realise how much that I have in common with Julie Andrews (!) (laughter). And she tried for years to get rid of her goody two shoes image, didn't she?...old Julie.

Scott: Since she took her top off...

Andy: Yeah

Arabella: Oh, you so didn't want to see it.

Scott: Oh, I liked her boobies!

(More chatter about movies)

Amy: Times up!, and I'll give you one point for that.

(Scott looks stunned that they only got one point!)

********

Next round. They have to guess the celebrity. Arabella thinks the answer is Courtney Love.

Scott: Do you know her?. You're in the music business.

Andy: I don't know her personally but I do think she's fantastic because she told Kurt Cobain fans that if they keep going to his house and turning it into a shrine, she's gonna blow it up...the whole thing.

Scott: Wow..

Amy:You're right... two points for that!

Amy: I was just wondering if Andy had any showbiz gossip behind-the-scenes in the pop world?

Scott: Is Madonna nice?

Andy: Yes, she's very nice. She's got the most fantastic eyes you ever saw.

Scott: Really?. I think she's gone a bit "old lady" since she lost a lot of weight. She looks like a little shriveled old lady.

Andy: Well that's because she's advertising Max Factor.

Scott: Ah right.

(Scott starts bitching about Madonna some more. Marsha Thomason on the other team gets annoyed...)

Marsha: I think she looks fantastic...

Andy: Here here!

Andy: She's my boss anyway...

Amy: She's your what?

(Unfortunately, Marsha and Scott are still arguing about Madonna, so Andy isn't heard by anyone accept Amy Lam-ay, so he doesn't get to explain that Erasure are on Madonna's label in America etc..., aw, never mind.)

********

The final round. Guest star Xena Warrior Princess (can't remember her name in real life...but we won't worry about that for now) is asked a series of questions. The teams have to decide whether she answered "Pride" or "Shame". Teams must buzz in if they think they know the answer.

Amy: Pride or shame?. Wishing you were blonde?

(Scott's team buzz)

Arabella: Shame!

Amy: It is shame. That's a bit embarrassing for you Andy

(Andy doesn't look too concerned!)

Scott: He's not blonde, he's white!

(Yes, Andy has a very bleached blonde hairdo!. Not really my favourite Andy-hairstyle, but I'm sure some of you will be thrilled to hear he's bleached it up again!.Oh! and his hair was very short as well - so that's the 'Andy's hairstyle review' out of the way!)

The end of the quiz

Amy: Scott's team are the winners with 19 points!

(Andy holds his arms aloft along with his other team members. Hoorah!. Well, of course Scott's team won... Andy was on it!)

But there was just time at the end to embarass comedian/presenter Roland Rivron by showing quite an old comedy sketch of him (and someone else who I don't know the name of) doing an impression of the Pet Shop Boys. Aaak!, can't Andy go anywhere without the Pet Shop Boys getting a mention as well?. Well, he probably can...I don't know why I said that really. Still, I'm sure that's Andy I can here laughing while the clip is being shown! ;-)

The End.

Transcribed by me (Jackie) for Erasurette.com. Not to be reproduced elsewhere. Thank you.