NO! Not the biscuit tin! - Smash Hits 1994


The rules: In the biscuit tin there are 100 envelopes. Each contains a

horribly difficult question. You must open 20 envelopes at random and

answer the question inside. You can pass on only one. Good Luck!


Why is your best friend your best friend?

Because he forgives me for the things I do. He has quite a lot of work to

do. We've been friends for about seven years.


Who's best, Zig or Zag?

I have to admit I can't really tell the difference. I think they're great

though, very funny. I'll be going on the bed with Paula soon, so I'll be

able to find out a bit more then.


How do you know when you're in love?

You lose your appetite and you stare into someone's eyes a lot.


Did you fancy a teacher?

I used to fancy quite a few of the teachers at my grammer school. There was

one, our PE teacher, who used to pick me out to do handstands. I didn't wear

any knickers under my shorts and he would look down them while I did the

handstands. I knew what he was up to. I was about 15 and he wanted me to do

body-building with him after school, but I didn't.


What colour underwear are you wearing?

White. I have quite a selection, but I went for white ones today. I buy a

lot of underwear - wherever we are in the world I usually buy a pair.


What is the most embarrassing photo of you in existence?

I remember one I did for Smash Hits a few years ago when I was dressed up as

Judy Garland and draped across a piano. That was quite embarrassing!.


Who is your worst enemy?

I really don't know. I hope I haven't got too many.


Do you think Kate Moss is too thin?

Yes. I think it's worrying that she's a role model for teenage girls. Do I

think she's attractive?. Well, I can't remember what she looks like so she

can't be that attractive, can she?.


What were you like when you were 12?

I was good at PE and very flirtatious. I had long hair and wore my maroon

school uniform most of the time. I was quite young looking, but I wasn't



Do you ever wear other people's clothes?

Yes. Sometimes, if I borrow things and I like them, I keep them if the

person lets me. Me and Paul are the same size so we share each other's

clothes a lot.


Have you ever been lost in New York?

Yeah. It's usually after a night out and the best thing is just to jump in a

cab. I quite like being lost, though. But it's not that easy to get lost

there - unless you forget which way is up and which way is down. The worst

place to get lost is Amsterdam. It's all a semi-circle and you can't rely on

your sense of direction at all.


Why are Meat Loaf's songs so long?

He likes his epics doesn't he?. I think he fancies himself as a bit of a

phantom of the opera. I don't like the new songs. I don't mind the old

stuff, but I wouldn't buy it. I've never met him, but I'd like to.


Do you fancy any other famous person?

Yeah, Keanu Reeves - no, River Pheonix, but he's not around any more. And

the guy from that film Videodrome - James Woods. He's quite rough looking. I

like Debbie Harry too. The first famous person I fancied when I was young

was Donny Osmond.


Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither. I dunno, feathers?


How many pairs of pants do you own?

About 200. I haven't counted them all, but there are drawers full of them.

Drawers full of drawers!. My favourite pair are the ones I bought in

Amsterdam. They're quite loose fitting - they're not Calvin Kleins, but they

do make you look quite good.


Where is the strangest place you've had sex?

Er, in a toilet. Quite a while ago. Or on the kitchen floor. With



Have you ever cheated on a boy/girlfriend?

Yes. I used not to feel bad about it, but I feel guilty now so I don't do

it. Actually, I still do do it, but I try not to fall in love with people. I

always tell Paul when I've been unfaithful. It goes down alright as long as

I don't see them more than once - or unless it's cool and I make friends

with them but stop seeing them seriously. It's when you keep it secret that

it becomes a problem.


What do you talk about with your hairdresser?

Trivia mostly. All sorts of things. He does quite a bit of work for AIDS so

we talk about that, too. The rest of it is about holidays and stuff. He's

been my hairdresser for six years, and I usually ask for something

different, then about a week later cut it all off and go back to my normal



Have you ever played spin the bottle?

Yeah. It was probably in a squat somewhere absolutely ages ago. I can't

remember how it went, though.


What makes the wind blow?

The wind!.